My first introduction to sitting Chan was from a martial arts teacher that incorporated seated postures and belly breathing as essential aspects of the practice. He also advocated we develop an appreciation of the mind and spirit, not just body.. This was a spark that led me to study classics of sun zu, go rin no sho, lao tsu, chung tsu, kong zi, etc… and from there eventually into Buddhist doctrine and sutra study.
I took up more formal and serious practice of zen from such places as Zen Mountain Monastery in upstate New York, Zen Center of Pittsburgh, Dai Bosatsu Zendo, and Bahavana in West Virginia.. I practiced, took formal vows first within the Japanese ritual of jukai then a few years later in Theravada upasaka.. Where ever I travelled in the world I’d seek a zen temple, monastery, practice group.. I learned much from great teachers and from sitting with dedicated people in living room meditation centers.
I was inspired to open Dragonsgate. A Chan meditation center that provided free classes in body practice like taichi and qigong, study of zen classics, traditional Chinese medicine but always with meditation practice as the foundation for each of these.
To deepen my practice I relocated to China about four years ago, and as result of practicing with the Shanghai Chan group had opportunity to be exposed to Shifu’s teaching, eventually meeting him a few months ago.
Shifu and I had a wonderful talk after the session, discussing how Chinese medicine, qigong study are all integrated within his teaching, but that the real expression was not form based, but true spiritual practice.. I knew immediately all my previous years of learning, practice and study led me to this place, this point in time.. then Shifu offered me teaching, direct heart-to-heart.. and changed me…
I experienced profound changes..
Heart feeling: positive pressure (Like a balloon has been inflated inside my heart), intense white light in center of my heart, “tingle” or “sparkling” sensation.
This feeling is constant, never goes away, increases during meditation, reading sutra, or doing something “good”.. sometimes pressure is uncomfortable, but never painful.. grows as large as a room at times.
Change-of-heart: martial arts, SCA, Kendo, etc.. Many of these arts provide their training via consequence or negative reinforcement.. (eg: if mind isn’t in the current moment you get hit, pain of impact reinforces to keep your mind focused) or through competition.
After training daily in these arts since 1974, like a light switch, I now feel absolutely no desire to hit someone. Even though there is usually no physical injury in a practice session, I don’t want to cause pain or even fear of possible pain, as teaching. In a similar feeling, now I have no desire for competition, no desire to win at cost of someone else’ loss. My physical practice though (taichi, qigong, shaolin weapons, western fencing, flipino arnis, kendo, etc…) is more intense, focused and higher level than before… can feel the qi flow through channels/charkas and even extended-projected external through the weapons much more clearly.
Sitting Chan (meditation) purifying.. Gold, green, or purple energy gathers/condenses.. then drifts or “shoots away” sometimes at high speed, to vanishing point.. sometimes with faces in the swirling energy mass… a definite feeling of energy leaving the body and mind.. feel “lighter” or less full afterwards. Typically only these three colors, and by far mostly gold/green.. only ever saw “red” during the actual heart-to-heart transmission with Shifu, but over the next several weeks, red has been dominant at beginning and end of each of my meditations.
Spiritual world transparency: Sometimes see and/or feel essence or energy of other people/spirits in a room, sometimes human shape, sometimes just energy. This feels very natural like they have always been there, just unseen. Its like turning on a light in a darkened room and suddenly seeing much more detail of what and who are in there or like pulling away a window shade to see more clearly through a window. For example: in a conference room at work my team of five people becomes a room of twenty people working, focusing, interaction.. sometimes see this at home or other places.. energy or spirit in a body shape or without a body.. feels no real difference. If see these in periphery or don’t focus on them, they stay, relaxed, if I focus directly they fade away.
Chan Ding: A wonderful deepening of experiences of “Chan Ding”.. it happens much more frequently than before. I see many points-of-light.. Extreme clarity of thoughts, true wisdom access.
On several occasions when I close my eyes to begin meditation there are many, many points of intense light.. flashing, flickering, connected. This seems always to be a prelude to very deep , no mind state, then information, knowledge, wisdom becomes very clear, simple to understand. Things I have contemplated for years, but didn’t see this new perspective or link, the clarity is now much deeper, but very accessible.
Although I have felt for a long time that I am like a conduit or pipe that energy, knowledge etc.. simply flows through.. this feeling is far more profound now. I used to question everything, always looking for another unconsidered perspective.. with this flow of wisdom there is no question, it is correct, it is fundamental truth. Just as the Masters heart-to-heart transmission requires no questioning no explanation, it is truth, is beyond question.. beyond body, senses or mind… this connection or flow through is same. Before transmission this is very abstract, mind cannot grasp, after transmission it is extremely clear and simple… there is nothing for the mind to grasp.
Chakra: Can very clearly feel all 10, energy flow very tangible, but more of a “pulse” than “cycling”. In one subtitled DVD of Shifu's Heart Chan lectures, that I have had for several years (maybe 12a) Shifu talks about energy flowing up wind channel and down fire channel, this seems to be very similar to Taoist “micro-cosmic orbit” but from the DVD lecture I have, it seems to neglect the water channel. My experience recently has been that on the in-breath, energy enters through navel charka, flows down to root charka, then “pulses” up through each channel at same time, can feel each charka without focus on any of them, then it ends with energizing or stimulating Chan charka.. this cycle completes once each breath. So it feels more like a “pulse” of energy flowing from Root to Chan, charka, rather than a circle or cycle of the energy.
At first there feelings were always warm, sometimes even hot.. after discussing with Shifu, he told me to focus to a much smaller, much finer point .. when I started to do this.. the cool feeling was experienced almost immediately.
My way of seeing the world and those around me has changed. I see and feel this light inside everyone now.. I see how they cover it up.. I feel how to help.. My path forward is very clear.
